Whopper of Idol

Yesterday, I completed my yearly administration of the SAT and the annual reward: A Whopper and accouterments (fries and shake). This year there was a twist. Lina wanted McDonald's fries instead. She decided to join me in my fast food foray (not typical for us). I doubled down on the burger.

I have a Whopper fetish of sorts. As a kid, my Dad used to take us to Burger King and a Phillies game once a year. My Dad just wasn't into baseball. Now, the Philadelphia Art Museum on a beautiful Sunday afternoon, he was all game. Neither of my parents were much into fast food either. So, I came to treat Whoppers like idols, almost worshiping the mastication of all of the ingredients.

So, I have an attraction to Whoppers, but in all practicality, I hardly eat them. I am glad my parents were stern about fast food and junk food in general. I just never got used to it. I still recall my older brother Mike and I freezing our alloted half can of soda a week to make it last longer as a frozen treat rather than a liquid. I drink little soda too.

Yesterday, I ordered a Double Whopper, a large BK chocolate shake (which I promptly consumed on the way home in the car, to my nauseous delight) and eagerly awaited the arrival of the fries. By Lina's delay, I figured Lina must have gone to the McDonald's eastward rather than the much closer one westward. She doesn't head to Columbia much and probably associates it with my former dusty and dirty Bachelor Pad, and feels repelled and goes in the opposite direction subconsciously and automatically.

She finally arrived with the fries and the Whoppers were warm but not but not off-the-grill hot. Well, on their way to being tepid. All in all, a giant letdown. I even think I had a fast food hangover this morning because my meal topped out at over 2,500 calories. The Chocolate Shake was just over the top, checking in at a 1,000 calories just by itself if I recall correctly. It will probably be another year until I eat a Whopper (when I run the SAT administration once again). By then, I will be all game.

It is good that our idols disappoint us. Our vacation to Florida over Christmas is rainy, the new iPhone from Verizon falls back rather than spring forward, making us two hours early for church, too much alcohol and our brain and body wilt, our jobs expose our weaknesses, and pleasure is all too brief and pain all too lasting. Only God is big enough to fill the Whopper of a hole in our Soul.

Here is Lina's take on the event. (March 12, Fast Food Gluttony)