Destiny at the Diner
I returned, and saw under the sun, that the race is not to the swift, nor the battle to the strong, neither yet bread to the wise, nor yet riches to men of understanding, nor yet favor to men of skill; but time and chance happeneth to them all.
For some odd reason this verse was sticking in my head last night. I guess I have been a philosophical mood. The older I get, the more I realize that there is a lot in this life we don't control. We can influence events to a degree but then get over-ruled by fate. A veto from on high. Or we can succeed without really earning it. Right place, right time type of thing.
Adding to the reflective spirit, I am close to less than a year away from 50. I am likely in the second half of life, although the women in my family tend to live to be a hundred. So it could be half-time. Yet, since I ain't a women, I am not counting on a century on this earth.
I had to clear out of the house early today because the monthly cleaners were coming. Since it was breakfast-time, I headed to the local diner. Its food is greasy and good....I had some eggs, potato, cheese, and smothered in chicken gravy sauce monstrosity.
While there, I ran into a guy who I went to church with over 15 years ago. We were young then. Since then, he has had some serious struggles: health-wise, financially, familial, and occupationally. I had first sat at the counter on the other end but then got booted by a dude who had been sitting there, but was nowhere to be seen when I walked in...though there was a half-empty cup of coffee on the counter at the space--so that lent credence to his claims of having prior been in the seat. So, I guess it was God that moved me over to the other end.
Over food, I sensed a lot of regret in the guy I had gone to church with. As if, somehow, he got a raw deal on life. We appear to be about the same smarts-wise, similar backgrounds. Same age. Yet, I think he felt less in the face of my perceived more. He wasn't theatrical about it but more matter of fact. A resigned sorrow. I recognized that in him because I also have it. That is why I try not to put too much pressure on this life with my hopes and dreams. Eternity is sufficient time for God to provide solace for my earthly sorrows. I don't want to check out on life here...I still have a lot of my dream to accomplish. Yet, I also know that God ordains my steps, even though I am taking them. I may not get to where I want to be here but it is OK as long as I get there. I really mean that. I would go crazy otherwise.
I said something to him to the effect that we all have our pain, some just have more of it than others. That seemed to encourage him. I mentioned the news announcement that had just played on the radio in the diner about a 21 year old girl in Central Pa. who has been missing for weeks. I told the guy that I know her uncle really well. He is one of my best friends. He lives in L.A. and is a screenwriter and movie-maker. A magical life with a lot of sadness right now. As we peer into the back-story of our lives, much of us have heart-ache, soul-distress. And if we don't have it now, well tomorrow just might be our time to get a a heaping helping of hurt served up hot.
I know that I mentioned that I may not blog until after Labor Day. But, I have been burdened by this and one of the ways I deal with burdens is that I write. As an interesting footnote, I came face to face with the original of this painting above a couple of weeks ago at the Art Institute of Chicago. I really didn't do my research before going there and had no idea that Nighthawks by Edward Hopper was at the museum. I was just lonely and needed something to do. I was feeling pathetic hanging out in the Hyatt watching cable TV. I wound up spending the whole day there and saw many works that I had only seen in books, posters, and websites before. Dumb luck, not premeditated planning on my part. Providence.
This classic painting, as the description noted underneath the work, has generated a lot of discussion about what the artist was trying to convey...disillusionment, loneliness, disconnection? Today, I hope the guy felt my empathy for him with his wounds. For his are mine, just in different souls.
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