Depression: The Noonday Demon

Philippians 3:10

I want to know Christ--yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death

I was reading my devotional this morning about a word in Greek: Akedia which is translated as despondency. It was one of the eight sins defined by Pope Gregory way back in the day.

I have been well-acquainted with Depression, even before it was commonly know as Depression in the Pre-Prozac days of the 1970's. I just remember feeling that life had a sorrow core that I could not counter. Even as a child, when I lacked the vocabulary for describing it, I knew it well. Only in becoming a Christian when I was 19, was I able to start to untangle where Depression came from...The Fall where the Ideal and the Real split into schism. And, the split in my head, body, soul, and spirit. For I was like the world.

To feel sad about the world is actually a healthy response to an unhealthy world. Yet, when Akedia begins to coil like a snake, this is how hope is strangled. Strangely, I find Akedia to be much more prevalent during the day. The Ancient Desert Fathers saw it rise to its zenith as with the noonday sun. Not in the darkness of the night, be in the light of day. Where purpose is parched and hope is evaporated. And sorrow burns a hole in the soul.

Today was a snow day in Central Pennsylvania. We have had a weak winter in terms of snow and today was probably the heartiest snow that we have encountered. A temporary jubilation arose in my heart when I got the call that school was cancelled, which was then replaced by a wondering of how I was going to use my day. I decided to listen to sermons on my iPhone during lunch and that did much to accompany my soul through the loneliness of the mid-day.

I was a little depressed afterwards though after searching the first thousand books in Amazon with the search word "college" in it and my book did not come up. It literally came to the end of the road with no listing for my book. The good news of this was my determination that the competition for my book is pretty weak. What a boring pile of twaddle. Only a few even had cool covers. So, my book should rise over time in the rankings. If can get the word out. Big if.

I often find social media unsatisfying and daytime television just plain vacuous. But, well-preached sermons often lift me up. It is almost like a daily diet of theology (I tend to favor Reformed preachers like Alistair Begg). He is funny but serious, grounded yet fanciful. I also like Mark Batterson a lot but find him a bit too cliche-like at times. Yet, he also create phrases that become cliches and that is a unique gift.  Batterson's message today was about complaining, the Quail of Complaining. See the Old Testament reference about God Sending Quail or better yet listen to this 77's song.    

Begg's sermon today basically hammered home to truth that suffering is a reality of life and we had not promise false goods and false gods of consumerist happiness to those in need of the Christian message. Hope in suffering versus downplaying suffering--hiding it, pushing it away, refusing to embrace it and accept it--was more his point. Like the nails on the Cross.