Mystical Pizza

 
 
Yes, the above is my very own Big-E's Pan Pizza. Straight from bare-knucked brawling Columbia, Pa. And, I am not even Italian. Though my mom's maiden name is Brenneman which means my people crossed the Brenner Pass through the Alps from Italy to Austria back in the day. Knowing me, probably in search of better beer. Can't imagine it was for the food. Maybe I have some Northern Italian Luigi in me some where.     
 
I was eating some DIGIORNO'S pizza the other week and I happened to gaze upon the ingredient list. It read like the Periodic Table. Franken-Pizza! From the Lab to you! I wondered why a foodstuff so simple (wheat, tomato sauce, cheese, and toppings) could be so complex. I was disgusted and spewed the cryogenic crap out of my mouth and vowed that I would never buy such manipulated and treated pizza every again. I think most of the chemicals were preservatives to keep the pizza in state for years until popped into the oven.
 
It amuses me when people buy pizza for ten dollars or more without realizing that they can make their own in probably the time it takes to order it and get it delivered. About the only thing that takes time is the rising of the dough but the yeast really does the yeoman of the work. I admire yeast. It works so hard only to die. I wonder if it ever has existential crises?
 
Now beer, takes time and effort. A lot of work and pain. Hardly justifying the product in this era of craft beer. I only brew high end Belgians that typically run at least $ 50 a case, then it is worthwhile and gets around the curve. Otherwise, pony up and support the Craft. They have the know-how, the equipment, and time, to do it better than me and even cheaper. But pizza, this is not rocket science. I recall in college that the local pizza and stromboli place had an owner, a Greek immigrant, who tooled around campus in a Mercedes. While we were slogging through the books and exams, he was literally cranking out the dough and probably cackling all the way to the bank.
 
Making pizza is hardly mystical. Good ingredients, Papa Eric. Sorry John, the gig is up. I can make my own  for a lot less. You are no magician. Like the Wizard of Oz hiding inside a pizza carton. God grants wisdom for the simple things. It is humanity that makes it all too complicated. Love God, love People, and pass the pizza. Amen.
 
    

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