Cheetos Heart


The day before Valentines Day I was at the Hallmark store along with all the other poor sucker men looking through the cards. Valentines Day is a damned if you don't holiday for sure. Advice to the newly married or men in a relationship perhaps leading to marriage. Don't believe the woman when she says that Valentines Day is no big deal. It's a trap to see if you can have the wisdom to do the right thing despite the words. You had better learn that lesson sooner or later, and the sooner the better. Applicable to much more than Valentines.

My wife is not a particularly sentimental person and neither am I. So, 99% of the cards were not suitable. We love each other and all but sugary verse, especially with the awful rhymes, off-limits. I finally wound up buying a card in the snarky section with script that stated that I loved her more than I loved bacon. And, I love bacon. Dangerous to even equate a person to a thing, even if it is bacon.

Some women want roses, chocolates, a fancy dinner, diamonds. Not my wife. She absolutely cherishes Cheetos. Those snack baubles. She really doesn't eat them often...usually on road trips. So, I joked the day before Valentines that I was going to buy her Cheetos for Valentines and she did not put up much a resistance. She didn't take my query seriously, so the stage was set. Operation Cheetos was live.

It is practically a sacred ceremony watching her eat Cheetos...she is so deliberate and intentional, savoring each crunch. I went to the snack armory Turkey Hill Convenience Store and purchased a three dollars and change bag of Cheetos. I saw men lugging around flowers, chocolate, and all those common gifts, I knew that this orange bag would capture her heart. To personalize my lovely gift, I drew a heart on the bag itself (see my fine photo). She was overjoyed with my gift, noting that she was "happy as a clam"..not in sand probably, but that cheese dust.

I have always found gifts to be much more than mere dollars spent. We equate cost with value and it is ironic that a bag of Cheetos at three bucks, because of what it means to my wife, was better than gold.  

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