What Do You Say?

What do you say to a mother, daughter, and son, about the sudden loss of their husband/father? I had the opportunity to think about that today at the Viewing of two of my students' dad, a brother and sister.

The man was a year younger than myself and I found out about it first thing on Tuesday when the mom came in to tell me.

It is really a privilege to serve students and their parents. Being there in the good times and the bad--and the in-between amalgamation of the two--school counseling spans the emotional spectrum. In these situations of tragedy, I try to avoid saying things like "I understand" (I don't), "Things will get better" (often they won't). Instead I acknowledge it for what it is (a tragedy), that the loss will be with them a lifetime (to some degree), "I am sorry" (I really am), and "I'm here."

As I looked at the pictures of he and his kids and his wife, I saw the love he had for them...I can just tell. Hanging out with his son, both looking the alike with the same expression, him beaming next to his daughter in her prom dress, and the day he got married to his bride.
They thanked me for coming to the Viewing and for helping out with school-related issues. I said "Sure" and left it at that.

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