Terrible Love


It takes an ocean not to...break.  

I had not attended a concert down at the Mann Music Center for over 30 years. Located in Fairmont Park down in Philadelphia. it is a premiere outdoors concert venue. The night was stellar.

My brother had asked me months ago if I wanted to see The National show. He digs the band. How much? He was willing to shell out major dollars for front row center tickets. I had the best seat in the house. And since I am so tall, I stayed seated and took in the show. Usually I am blocking peoples' way if I am further back because I have to stand to see which causes people behind me to have their view blocked. It is like a dead zone behind me for rows. 

It was a really great performance. The highlight was when the lead singer took my iPhone and videoed himself and the other band members on the stage, including a prolonged drum solo. The footage lasts over two minutes. It was very generous of the lead singer to do so.

I did nothing to deserve the ticket. My brother paid for it. I suppose as far as brothers go, I have been OK. No Hall of Famer but my bond with him is strong even if it may not appear that way to outsiders.   

It has got me reflecting on grace quite a bit. Getting something good we don't deserve. The converse is also true for many in the world. Getting something bad. And then there is the large swath in the middle where our deservedness for unearned good and bad is mixed with things that we do deserve to a degree. Or totally. Life is really complicated to sort all of this out.

The line of works-based spirituality is something like this: I am a good person, I deserve others to value me. This is the premise behind the self-esteem movement. But, if we are honest with ourselves, we know that we often don't think, feel, and act good. Sins of omission can be equally as serious as sins of commission.

We may constrain our worst inclinations behind a veneer of social conformity yet that doesn't mean there is not an inward battle--even among the best of us--to love God and our neighbors.

Often our goodness is just reciprocity. The acid test for spirituality is to treat people better than deserved because that is how God treats us. It is not our merit that warrants this grace. And it is not unconditional because it cost Christ much. It is unearned but that does not infer that it is cheap in cost. Or cheaply conferred.

I am not sure what this lyric means from The National song Terrible Love (this was the line the lead singer was reciting when he took my phone). It takes an ocean not to...break.  With that pause before break.

I just know on that night and at that place, whatever it meant was a wave of grace             

 

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