Red Hoodie, Blue Hoodie

Red Hoodie at Rest 

Since Central Pennsylvania is presently embroiled in an endless cold-fire Winter (I know that I am mixing confounding opposites), it is extending the need to wear heavier clothing. The sun is closer but Winter holds on like a miser clutches his purse. Cold Fire. Taos, New Mexico,was amazing in this duality. The sun is strong in the Winter but cold winds blow. 

Just learned that Rush has a tune "Cold Fire." Who knew. That is a band that has never got its due. I think it is because of G. Lee's screeching falsetto on some of the tunes. That's hard to take. Would cause rats to jump ship. Even rock and roll ratsos. Must also be because they are Canadians. Eh.

I have been quietly upgrading my non-work clothing. I have to shop online because of my size. I can't find garments off the rack. 2XLT.  My appendages are just too long. I have long legs and long arms. I am elongated man. In particular, I needed some new sweatshirts recently. One for home (Blue) and one for working out (Red). The hoodies are necessary because of both the cold inside of my house and outside.

I don't heat my place during the week (except for my bedroom). I have baseboard heating which is really expensive and cannot be controlled from a central thermostat for the whole house. So, I just keep the Haus cool and turn on the space-heater on the weekends. Sometimes I can see my breath when eating breakfast. That's cold. But, I suck heat from my less Nordic neighbors since I am in the middle of the townhouse row.  It is a pleasant 50 degrees in the cabin. So bundle up and enjoy the flight, yo.

My red hoodie is for outside working out. Red to be visible. Hoods are great because it keeps the warmth of my head encapsulated while allowing the sweat to also have room to dissipate. It is a loose fitting. I am attempting to institute an after-school work-out regiment in addition to the lifting and stationary bike riding I do before work six-days a week. I have designs to start climbing the top 46 4,000 or so feet peaks in the Adirondacks this summer and perhaps heading to Kenya this Christmas Vacation to take on Mt. Kenya. I hiked James Peak in Colorado a couple of decades ago which is over 13,000 feet. So 20 years later, older and all, I will have to get another 4,000 feet up. Doable, but I am going to have to be very intentional in my training.

These mountains do start way above sea-level but the air gets very thin past the treeline.

The blue hoodie is for relaxation. When I wear it, I am in a more contemplative and less physically active place. Blue is my favorite color because it exudes peace and placidity. I heard a very thoughtful lecture on Friday night where the speaker referenced a Russian film titled Stalker. The main characters, a writer, a scientist, and the guide (the stalker), exist in a post-apocalyptic world where the goal is to find "The Room" where the characters will have their primary earthly desire fulfilled. The premise of the film, which the speaker noted, is that the characters turn away when getting to the edge of "The Room" because they realize what they say and think they want may not be what they actually want. And that possibility causes them to retreat.

I think all of us have an inner Trump. He is the manifestation of something out in the ether. The world spirit?

I am fairly certain that my idol of the heart is peace. A retreat from the demands of the world. A blue hoodie existence where I can pull the hood over my head and read, write, watch films, nap, and not have to interact with people at all--or only relate to friends and family of my choosing and agreeable terms. The world stops at my door and when I turn the lock, it is E-World, with coffee in the French Press, beer in the Pint Glass, and bacon in the skillet. Among other things.

I fear eternity will be endless work and not rest.

But, I know that God calls me out of my comfort into the world of beauty, wonderment, chaos, and destruction. A red hoodie, where my spirituality is put to the test. Yes, the red pill in The Matrix is for reality, not the imaginary virtual world of the blue pill.  For quite some time, "hip" Christians used the red pill/blue pill scene to the point where they killed it of relevance and meaning. Over-used, it became a sign of a wanna-be Christian thought-leader hooey. Those Neo-types. We all know them. Neo-Calvinists in particular. Either go big and become a Calvinist or go home theologically to Rob Bell land. Van Tillian, I am.  Don't pilfer and pick and choose the theological heritage.       

I hope it is safe to drag red pill/blue pill out of cliche closet yet again. Statute of Limitations?

My primary red zones are travel, working out, and work itself, where I hardly control my schedule and have to keep the cards of my responsibilities in a posture of being able to re-arrange quickly based on the demands that change constantly. I don't think great on my feet but do pretty well when I have a few minutes to ponder. I am quick-witted with my words but my other actions to the unexpected need some time to develop. Like a Polaroid picture for those of you who remember them. 

When I headed down to Philly to the Union Transfer for Darlingside last Friday, I felt the nagging anxiety of heading into the Metro Maw. Being from the Philly 'burbs, I am not entirely a Central Pa. Amishman. But, I have come to adjust to the bucolic life out here in the frontier. One hour it took to go 60 miles; the other hour and ten minutes down the S-Kill Expressway 20 or so miles (a whopper of a misnomer, Expressway for who? Tortoises?).  On Saturday, I hit REI for some camping gear, two coffeehouses that I have been hankering to visit, and the legendary Tired Hands craft brewery, then finishing the day/night in deep discourse with my dad and brother over big sizzling Costco rib-eyes.

I push through my stasis because I know that to stay still too long is to die slowly. I want to move even though leaving my comfort zone causes me to be anxious. As it was, I got to Philly way ahead of time of the show which allowed me to secure one of the limited parking spaces out back and I had time to hit the Venezuelan restaurant just across the road.  Big cities are great. There is a veritable world on every block. I tend to use time as a way to tranquilize fear. Give myself enough time to figure things out, where I don't have to be right the first time.

Dinner did cost me forty bucks (tip inclusive). Ouchee.

While in Philly area for most of the weekend--especially on the Main Line, I encountered the pervasive entitlement mentality that money brings. I experienced it first hand on the roads and in stores, where people are pushy because they have cash-driven egos. We too easily dismiss Jesus's warnings about the corrosive affects of being wealthy, the cravenness that hardens hearts into concrete. Botox souls where plastering a facade on the front hides the decadence and decay within. The wrinkles and the rot.

I pushed back firmly on that mentality. I felt like the Apostle Paul confronting the Judaizers. "Are you a Jew, so am I!" You from the Main Line? So I am I! I grew up here you ding-dongs and left because of that posh pugnacious. Some woman told me to "watch it" when I was driving out of La Colombe coffee shop after my second double espresso of the day. I was highly-caffeinated. 

I was moving when she stepped off the curb and she expected me to stop. And perhaps I should have as an act of chivalry. But, I was in motion and she assumed that I had to give her a right of way. Nope. Another word for stepping out in front of a moving car is stupidity. I replied, "No, you watch it."  A gentle reminder to the genteel goofball girl that the world doesn't revolve around her.

P.S. She probably threw me the bird. I wasn't looking...I turned the other cheek and eye, and looked away. I made my point and had no need to belabor it into a protracted argument. 

Related Links:

Rush - Cold Fire 

Stalker Film 

You Are What You Love (Friday Night's Speaker at The Row House) 

The Row House 

Van Til