Inner Ache

My mouth above. Spared you a look up my nostrils... 

Back in December, I went for my routine 6 month dental appointment to get my teeth checked and cleaned. Typically, I get a good report that the choppers are doing well. However, for the last few years, my lone cavity has been aching off and on (and more on than off). Like that light bulb in a prisoner's cell that shines night and day.

I had mentioned it previously to the dental hygienist (usually a different person every time) and the dentist on duty (same Indian dude). I would tell them that there was an ache but I would typically downplay it. I have a fairly high tolerance for pain being that my left knee has been aching consistently for the last almost 40 years. I get fatalistic and philosophical about pain, figuring that rather than fight it, accept it, and focus on other issues. 

When life kicks you around enough, no sense crying about it. The world as it is doesn't care.  

I find myself being much more philosophical in life than theological. I can't know the mind of God besides some simple truths that Jesus came into the world to save sinners. The providential is not in my purview, besides working for the common good, to be kind, etc. Philosophy for me is in the grill and on the ground wisdom.   

My nonchalance about the toothache would elicit acknowledgment from the dental professionals but no further reaction. It seemed that all of us agreed that it was the way that it was. Make your peace type of thing. If I had pressed harder, perhaps they would have reacted differently. Part of the problem is that when I had switched dental practices several years ago, the office that I had gone to prior for a year or so, was really incompetent about appointments and billing.

I couldn't take the incompetence any more so I quit them like smoking. I have a feeling that my prior dental records had not been forwarded to the new office. So, maybe the new office had an incomplete understanding of the existing cavity, even though I am certain that the prior dental hygienists at the new place knew about it. The records apparently didn't reflect the existing cavity. To be fair, I also typically eschew the x-rays because it seems to be a money-maker rather than a medical necessity and radiation is not great for the body and bones. 

I figure that if a trained professional can't spot a cavity without an x-ray, something is wrong.    

It was only until I was assigned a new dentist (as noted, the dentist on duty has been the same prior to this visit) that she identified the cavity, noted that it needed to be filled (previously filling had come out which explained the ache), and did the repair work. She disavowed any record in the log of my cavity being identified and acknowledged previously. She had seen my mouth with fresh eyes so to speak and acting accordingly. Drill baby drill! What first hurts more then heals.

Since the filling of the cavity, the toothache has pretty much subsided. In retrospect, I feel kind of stupid and silly for not insisting about the severity of the pain previously. I was an unhypochondriac and it would have been better to be more forthcoming about the existing pain and pushing for an investigation and resolution. Instead, I toughed it out but get no medal for being so stoical.  

When God sees our soul, he sees the analogous cavity that sin has wrought. Jesus knew what was in the heart of man, as John writes in his Gospel. Humanity that postures itself as whole but underneath it all, hurting, is a sad sight to Jesus. He is not a disconnected and distant deity but got up close and saw the emptiness and ache of lost people. He still does. What He wants from us is an admission of the ache inside and for us to open wide about it. He is the infinite filling of that ache.