Forgive Us Our Trespasses
And forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us.
It is rainy and cool early October day here in Central Pa. I was thinking of going to another Oktoberfest today but I am partied out a bit.
A good day to stay home and reflect. Weather can create emotional states. So, cool and rainy makes me more introspective than I already am. I have a public persona that helps with my position. I can put on the extrovert character. Yet, I cherish coming home, closing and locking the door (the turning of the lock is the sweetest sound in the world), and being alone with my thoughts. I heal by silence and letting the concussive nature of my work wear off. Sleep is my primary coping mechanism. An hour nap after school dissipates the trauma. We school counselors deal with a lot of sad news yet there is much happiness, too. And these two realities exist side-by-side and can switch back and forth with almost jarring and blurring speed.
To change direction a bit and then to circle back...
This July, I headed down to a local whitewater park. There has been a change of ownership on the land; it used to be PPL Electric. As a trade-off for the hydroelectric dam that runs off the river, PPL provided public access to the trails around the river and built the whitewater park. The new company initially decided, probably somewhat due to liability concerns, to keep people off the land on the Lancaster County side and seemingly deserted the whitewater park on the York County side. No release of water, no whitewater.
I was considering trying to kayak the rapids (if they ever planned to release the water from the dam) and wanted to check it out. Apparently, it is reopening here in October. After I looked it over and read the sign, I decided that I am not ready for such a challenge. The warnings freaked me out. It is not exactly a NO TRESPASSING sign. But, it might as well be except for the finest kayakers out there. Apparently, when the water is released, it is the best and most volatile whitewater on the East Coast.
Another redirection of sorts...
I have been reciting the Lord's Prayer every morning as I drive to work. Since I have a Catholic background, trespasses is the word that I got accustomed to in translation rather than debts. In my reading about the Greek word Parapito used, it does seem that debt is more accurate rendering. However, I think trespasses can make a lot of sense. Think about Eden and God saying that there was one tree that Adam and Eve couldn't eat from (the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil). That was a physical space with a profound moral dimension. I believe in the historic time and place Fall of humanity. But even if you don't, the story does warn that by partaking in evil, we falter, we fall. Knowing is more than information. it is experiential. Active, eating, participatory.
The reason why I recite the Lord's Prayer when driving is because I have the time and I need to fight against my proclivity to get inappropriately angry with drivers who do deliberately dangerous things like texting, etc. My anger is legit to a degree...it just consumes me though. I don't retaliate but do rail on them with invective internally within the confines of my car. An exhaust of the profane. So, I say the Lord Prayer to prepare my spirit for the rude roads. Reciting the Lord's Prayer is making more peaceful.
The roads are a public space and because of the intrinsic danger involved in driving, it is to everyone's interest to be civil. So, when people are reckless, I get pissed. You can kill yourself if you insist BUT you have no right to put others into your poor decision-making. No right.
It was interesting as I read the definition of Parapito that it can be for harm done either intentionally or unintentionally. Unintentional harm can sometimes be the most damning of all. Someone is so self-obsessed they don't even consider the harmful consequences of their words and actions. It is not even calculated and considered. That can be the hardest thing to forgive for me. Intentional harm at least doesn't pretend. It is honest in its own peculiar way.
I have found that praying for the forgiving others for their trespasses is better as a macro-mentality versus a micro-decision; as I contemplate my own sin, I recognize that a condition of being absolved is to extend that to others. I don't dwell on the details because such examination tends to cater to a spirit of resentment. I ask God to do a hard reset of my heart and give me the power to let go of reciprocation/ revenge and instead practice reciprocation/reconciliation.
Eric Bierker Ph.D is the author of "On The Edge: Transitioning Imaginatively to College." A book for the college-bound.
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