Thinking at 3:00 A.M.: The ZZZ's That Pass Understanding

ZZZZZZZZ

Every few days, I wake up sometime in the middle of the night. 2:00 or 3:00 AM. Usually I get up because of my urinary alarm clock. After taking care of business, I typically fall back asleep. Not always though. I have learned not to fear this wakefulness at night because I typically think about God in a deeper manner than I do that any other time day or night.

Worrying about not sleeping does little to wrestle and pin R.E.M. down on the mattress. Just the opposite. Wariness leads to weariness. If you ever want to mess with a man, mess with his sleep and he will go mad. Nixon apparently was an insomniac and attempted to find peace in wine, which only stirs up trouble beyond a glass or two. Hard to figure out if his paranoia created his sleeplessness or if sleeplessness created his paranoia. Maybe both.

When the Devil can lock down two bad approaches to life in tandem, it creates psychological hand- cuffs. Just a few I can think off hand: Obesity and Lack of Exercise, Anxiety and Addiction, Critical Spirit and Lack of Caring Relationships, Depression and Isolation. Etc.      

There is something primal about the night that allows us to probe our psyches which are also dark and hide much. We know that all of our distractions are probably at low ebb. Truth be told, I do sometimes put on sermon through my iPhone because I figure redeeming the time with the Word will never return void. I often drift back to sleep and the preaching gets woven into my dreams.

Other times, I don't listen to a sermon or podcast and random thoughts arise in my head like bubbles to the surface of consciousness. It is usually not anxiety-driven. I am in a really nice season of life now. I have had enough bouts with long and rough weather to know that storms await. Yet, for now, many battles have been fought, I have some scars, but I also have wisdom that only adversity creates. Getting older has some rewards, hurts don't hurt as much. Been there, done that.  

Hard times also jar us to consider that we still live in a damaged world. This is a good reminder because we don't want to get too comfortable riding this rocket-ship. Of all the things a person can wish for, sound sleep is truly a gift beyond measure. One can have millions but if one has no rest, no amount of money can purchase it. I find having a clear conscience to be the best recipe for sound sleep.

I was at an Oktobersfest yesterday where I had two unusual events occur with money. In both cases, I could have claimed a big chunk of change and bills that were not mine. I had the opportunity to pretend that the lucre belonged to me and no one would have detected my deceit. I would have been maybe $40 richer but poorer because I would have sold out and I could not have defended or justified my actions to myself and to God.

I  slept well last night knowing that I don't have to steal to survive....that God will take care of me. And this is sweet.