Powering Down

I know I have not been very consistent with the blogging. My life has taken a serious turn into the extreme exertion arena. I am blogging right now on a Wednesday morning at 4:45 AM. We make time for things we value. Time is a most valuable asset. We only have so much of it in our life's bank and God is going to account how we spent it. I am reminded of that verse "Redeeming the time for it is evil." That evil time debt is everywhere.  

Last week (Monday), my College and Career class that I am teaching started. The content of the course is essentially my Ph.D. and Master's degrees' work. Two and some decades of Doctoral and Master's work researching and thinking about what would help teens better prepare for college. Well, the research is now being tested on the the rails of reality large. So far, so good. I think. The kids will be the ultimate judge, as well they should be. So, it is about time go all out and see what happens. I ain't getting and younger and a lot of students need help with the college transition. We are using my book as the textbook.

Two days before the class started, I got word that my Dad had become very sick and without the concerned call of his "girlfriend" who asked his brother to check on him at his cabin up in New York, good chances I would have given or would be preparing his eulogy now. I had called him on that Saturday and had not heard back which was unusual. I am not sure what I would have done had he not called back. Probably called him back Monday which, by then if I was alarmed and acted, it could have been too late. I say "girlfriend" because she used to be. Now, she is a girl friend that my Dad talks to daily. She noticed that something was amiss with my Dad and then contacted his brother who lives a half hour away to drive up and check on him. I was getting ready to head up to New York and leave the class in the hands of others if I had to once I got word he was sick. My faith comes first, my family second, my friends third, and my place of employment fourth. Although, I do have a lot of friends at work.  

I also got notice early last week from my soon-to-be-former wife's attorney notifying that after November 1, 2014, my wife could execute the divorce decree. The whole thing has humbled me and revealed to me that the hurts that I entered with into the marriage had not really healed. I had thought that since I waited until 43 to get married, that the statute of limitations on life trauma had come to an end. I was wrong. And, as a result of the broken marriage, more hurt. Time does not heal all wounds. God does. Ask a bitter person if time has lessened his or her pain. Quite the opposite. A bitterness like wormwood most of the time. We forget trifles, we remember trauma, I am sure that this bothered me more than I was conscious of even though I know that it is a sunk cost not worth grieving over any more. I have dried my tears and I am moving on. Let us put it this way, I put zero faith in vows now. None.  

So, with everything going on last week, I started to get sick with a cold on Thursday. I felt it coming on but also could not stop the train I was on until Friday night. With the class still in its beginning stages I felt like I needed to stay on board until we go further along in the journey and had picked up steam and were down the rails a bit more. The kids were showing signs of being into it but there was also a vibe of some undercurrents of non-engagement which for a class like mine would be deadly. I have no test and quizzes, no homework. Everything is in class, and writing what I am calling reflections, evaluations, and projections which roughly aligns to past, present, and future. The class is not easy but it is challenging I hope in the right way.

In treating the incoming cold, I gargled and sipped 90 proofs bourbon, drank broccoli smoothies, chomped on aspirin, ingested massive amounts of Cold-Eeze, drank green tea, downed copious amount of Vitamin C, and then slept a lot of hours. I was able to side-step the charging cold like a matador does with a bull. But, I got nicked by a horn and was just so tired. But, I managed to get in a five mile run on Saturday and lift Sunday night--even though I was so beat

I have learned that the race is not to the swift but it is too those who keep running but also know when to stop. The problem is that sometimes we cannot stop until we get further along. Until, we get to a future point where we can rest. God was with me but I was still hurting and discouraged. He is close to the broken-hearted and we can be so thankful for that. I felt God close.