Defense of Marriage Act - DOMA

I try to be timely in my posts--to bring the timeless truth of Scriptures into our contemporary situation. So, here is my take on DOMA, SCOTUS, etc.

I have no great beef with homosexuals wanting to get married--just as long as our society still allows people to dissent. Legal does not always equal moral and we have to understand the difference. I don't expect non-Christians to hold biblical beliefs. It is unreasonable. It is hard enough for us Christians to be Christians. A major concern, and it is more than just a concern, is that many twist the Scriptures to fit our preferences. And that is the underlying issue here. The Bible, the whole counsel of God, is either in force or it is not. One domino goes down, and the rest will follow. Just a matter of time until other doctrinal dominos fall. 20th century Liberal Christianity shows that in spades. I don't have to argue predictively. Historically.

We are supposed to have Freedom of Religion in this country and beliefs and behaviors derived from faith. Even if you find it personally repugnant. Until someone uses scissors on the Constitution like Thomas Jefferson did to the New Testament, no amount of accusing those who do not agree with same-sex marriages as Homophobes, Taliban, or Nazis, should not alter that. Likewise, evangelicals should not demonize  homosexuals. Many live admirable lives and contribute constructively to society.

Thomas Jefferson's scissor redaction of the New Testament is actually in play here with the arguments for gay marriage. Many cite that Jesus did not directly address homosexuality in His teachings (which in itself is not certain, we just don't have a record of it), therefore the New Testament ethos of homosexuality is that Jesus would be cool with it. Such arguments are specious. Jesus also did not take on incest or sexual abuse of children as far as we know based on what is recorded in the Gospels. We have to understand that the moral code of the Jews--however far they personally strayed from it--was very clear on sexual norms. In fact, in Jesus's discussion on Divorce, he goes back to the beginning when God created male and female and brought the Creation narrative into His teaching. You know what sex without being married was called? Fornication--and it was frowned upon and considered sinful.

And, I am not suggesting that homosexual behavior between consenting adults is the same morally as incest or sexual child abuse. It is not. Probably less morally concerning than adultery where one partner violates the marriage covenant and the other partner is faithful and is the injured party.

Just don't use the Bible to buttress your preferences, argue instead using Civil Rights or whatever. Arguments from silence are weak. People enjoy trotting out Old Testament Law as if they are bearded Talmudic scholars--like guess you shouldn't eat lobsters either. Dumb and stupid arguments, as if all Old Testament Law was equal in regards to context and consequence. The Dietary and Ceremonial Laws were never given the judicial weight of the Ten Commandments and the Moral Law.  I get frustrated when I hear people trying to justify their beliefs based on a very poor understanding of the Bible--and that goes both for believers and non-believers. At least do your homework so you can be taken seriously.

Practically, the marriage of homosexuals and the rights thereto will also create a ton of legal mess on the back-end when things don't work out (just like heterosexual marriage). The legal rights of inheritance, property, etc., create ties that bind and become very knotted when marriages go bad. Watch what you pray for as the old adage goes.   

Here is just some general thoughts about marriage in general outside of the homosexuality debate. this is more dedicated to Christians rather than outsiders. Following these principles will defend marriages better than any legislative act.

Not all People Should Be Married - The Church does a terrible job in affirming singleness, particularly once someone gets past the typical marrying age. Singles are treated like lepers. When people get married and have kids, there is an enormous isolating effect on those who don't follow the plan and are not ministered to. Going to the typical church is like eating alone in a family restaurant. A lot of ministers preach that singleness is a good thing, but most of the time hope that people will get married, have kids, and become fixtures in the congregation where the focus is internal and the ministry is typically also self-focused and even self-serving. I think some people get married because they fear social isolation more than almost anything else. That is a poor foundation for a successful marriage and affirming singleness will do a lot for those who are not gung-ho to get married but go along with the flow because of fear.

For Better or Worse - We all know that in the olden days, many unhappy marriages were kept together for the kids, because women were not granted means to support themselves, etc. If we go back about 200 years ago, most people died in what would now be early middle age. If you were in a bad marriage, heck you'd probably die soon. So hold on, it would end fairly quickly. Life was much harder in the past and I think our ancestors did not have the illusions about marriage that we do that have been fueled by Disney rather than real life. Worse sometimes means worse. Worse is a real possibility. I think men and women used to mean and understand the vow and stuck with their promises to another for virtue and not merely convenience or social constraints against divorce. And I am not talking about allowing a husband to beat a wife type of deal. She should be allowed to flee and have the church's support and protection. Worse is just life in a fallen world.

Kids - Not all married couples should have kids. Many parents get caught in the expectation that their little bundles of joy will stay that way, and that the parents will get their joy needs met by their children. But, when the kid is troubled, rebellious, sick, etc., the strain on a marriage can cause it to suffer and not succeed. Having kids is probably the greatest yet hardest ministry conceived by God. Kids will make a heart and break a heart. Some evangelicals decry that not having kids is selfish and sometimes it is. But, it can also be the case that having kids is selfish for a multitude of reasons, and typically actions taken for selfishness don't go well. For instance, there is often a lot of pride lurking in the  achievements of one's children. Kind of shows superiority by implication. A pecking order by progeny. Realizing that having kids essentially means that you no longer have a life of your own would help demystify the child-raising experiences. I am thankful that parents have kids for my livelihood is based on that. But, I am pretty sure that I am not cut out for parenthood--and better that I not have kids than resent them for coming into my life.