Cigar Burns

On Friday night, my buddy came over and we went to get some dinner and a beer. After supping, we headed over to a local tobacco shop down in Columbia. As a result of him buying two cigars there earlier in the day, he was now a member of the smoking room club and all the privileges therein. Not exactly exclusive.

It is a well-ventilated room with no carpet or fabric to retain smoke residuals. There was a well-lit fake Christmas Tree with cigar box presents underneath. Hint. Hint. Christmas shoppers. My buddy whipped out two cigars, one for him and one for me. My cigar was so dark it looked like the wrapper was made of tree bark. From the first puff or two, I knew it wasn't for me. It too heavy, me too much of a cigar lightweight. But I smoked on. I didn't want to disappoint my generous friend.

Maybe it was that we were in this self-contained room. Even though it was well-ventilated, I felt like I was being suffocated slowly and softly, a smoke pillow. When I do smoke a cigar, once a week if that, I typically am outside in the fresh air. I alternate hits of smoke and pure air. But, being in that room, I proceeded to get more and more antsy. Each puff got me closer and closer to the edge of anxiety. It was too much.

Then, the unexpected happened after a while. The Christmas Tree lights shorted-out and the tree went dim. I used that diversionary event to draw attention away from me and to put that cigar out once and for all. I smoked about 2/3's of it before crying uncle.  I am thinking that my nicotine-infused jitters created a psychologically-charged environment and that my state of dis-ease caused the lights to go out. I mean I was having a cigar bad trip. Like call 9-1-1. I affected the physical realm.

Now, I hardly think that smoking cigars is a holy thing to do, although this cigar did indeed have self-mortifying elements. A hair shirt, a nail bed, and smoking a dark cigar in a closed room. Even thinking about it gives me the jitters, jitters that actually lasted all weekend. I didn't feel good. But, I don't think smoking cigars are intrinsically evil either. It probably comes down to being permissable and lawful but not edifying type of thing at times:

Everything is permissible"--but not everything is beneficial. "Everything is permissible"--but not everything is constructive.  (1 Cor 10:23)

There are times I feel good when smoking a cigar. It is a blessing hanging out with a friend, shooting the breeze, and blowing some smoke into the air. Small pleasures. My reason for continuing to smoke this particular cigar was that I wanted to not be unappreciative to my buddy; it wasn't some teen-like element where I felt if I didn't continue to smoke that I was going to be rejected by my peer group. So, I suppose my motives were right sort of. But, I should have terminated the smoking and just admitted that it wasn't working for me.  

Ah, I have learned a valuable lesson, or relearned it rather. I have burned and learned much in my life. This was just a refresher of a course that wasn't particularly refreshing.