Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled


Last night around midnight my heart was hurting. I do have some issues medically with my heart...a heart murmur that used to concern the school doctors who gave me physicals for sports or those mandatory examinations (cough, cough). The doctors would call my mom, she would explain that she was aware of it, and that I had been cleared by the family doctor to play sports. It does not seem to be a major problem from what I can tell besides occasional angina-like symptoms. Usually, the ache of the heart is more driven by emotional storms. Maybe watching the Pearl Jam documentary last night didn't help. That band, though quite talented, comes from a place of deep pathos. Deep, deep pathos.

I am facing a good deal of uncertainty these days. The dominoes have not fallen yet so I am waiting. Uncertainty is usually what worries me. I am typically fairly balanced when I know what I am facing. I don't expect life to be easy and to go my way. I have learned that there is only so much I can control and to try and exert effort only exacerbates stress beyond a certain point. So, I let go and let God as the cliche goes. I probably err more on the side of fatalism.

In my more devout moments and times, when facing trials that are burdening my heart, I go to prayer and Bible reading. Prayer seems to make a lot more sense when I come to the end of myself and don't know where to go. As long as life is on cruise control, I often don't feel the necessity to pray. That is a good rule to follow in general. Take on great enough challenges so that prayer does not seem like an accessory. It must be essential. With Bible reading, it pays to have enough understanding of where certain themes are addressed. Then the Scriptures can speak prescriptively to a specific reality and condition. Sort of laser-like.

The verse that came to me last night was "Let Not Your Heart Be Troubled." (John 14:1) In this verse, Jesus is consoling His disciples to not lose heart. He mentions it again later in the same talk to reinforce His message. What other-centeredness...Jesus, soon to be crucified for the sins of the world, telling His disciples to not lose heart, to trust in God, to hope in Him. It is most easy to be selfish in times of great pleasure or great suffering (the extremes of the spectrum). Those are words soon to be backed by action. Jesus creates the only way through by His own sacrifice.

I may not know what lies in store, my goal is just to take it a day at time (for sufficient are the troubles thereof).

 

        

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