EneMe

I attend Veritas Church that meets in the City of Lancaster Sunday morning. Every week there is a time to share "In, Out, Up." 

- "In" is our relationships with other Christians

- "Out" is our ministry in word and deed to the world

- "Up is our relationship to God and what He has been teaching us through the Bible, prayer, and the like. 

The church is missionally-minded even more than the Mormons or Amway. We take the call seriously. I was getting weary of having nothing to show for my walk of faith than cancelled checks and sermon notes. I don't blame anyone else but me... 

It is actually convicting every week to go through this Triangle. Like a gauntlet. It is also encouraging to hear the stories of others. So much of a church service can be pew passivity, this approach definitely encourages activity. And if not activity, really awkward silence. Really awkward silence...a shaming silence. I departed yesterday vowing to put my faith into practice more intentionally and no sooner had I thought more about "how?" a dude came out and asked for money (not the dude above for the record).

I declined giving him cash but struck up a conversation with the man. I offered to buy him a cup of Lancaster's finest coffee at Square One and he accepted the offer. No sooner had we started walking there, he went on good versus bad people verbal jag. He certainly had some anger towards other. Done three stints in jail. He also seemed to have some mental health issues. Maybe mania of some type...or paranoia. We have a lot of mentally ill people in jails. Hypocrisy and being lied to resonated high on his list of damnable sins. We sat down with the coffee on a cold and dreary day. Makes the coffee even more delightful. 

Why did things go wrong for him I wondered?   

At some point, I made the observation that our greatest enemy is the person we see in the mirror every day. I know that there a true victims in the world, particularly children, who basically get the harsh abuse shaft from life and just have to take it until they get old enough to be able to fight back, shut down, or run away. Maybe he was one of those children. I am figuring that he had absorbed a world of hurt early on. I have hardly had it as bad as many. My life was no picnic as a child and a teen but neither was it a horror show.      

Yet, speaking from personal experience, I have hurt myself more than all of my enemies combined. Me...both the perpetrator and the victim, EneMe. Put that up in the Post Office of my Psyche, Wanted. That is true for most of us adults. At some point, we made bad decisions, motivated by bad intent.            

I know it is generally unwise to try and reason with desperate souls. Yet, he was willing to listen for a spell and I let him speak much more than I did. Then he got up to leave. Who knows where he is going, or where he has been. Conversion is often seen as a moment of time, however that betrays the process the created that moment. Conversion piece-by-piece, where the puzzle of what is real and true replaces false beliefs. The picture begins to develop and a reckoning of  the image allows one to cross the line of unbelief to belief. I am not saying that I did much yesterday, but it was something. A conversation. 

Perhaps promoting a reflection on his reflection...his own hand that has harmed himself. The Hypocrite in us all.