Think I Am Going to Lose My Mind




I've got a bad taste in my mouth. Could it be cause I trusted myself?
I got a bad feeling in my bones. Could it be cause I went it alone?
I think I'm gonna lose my mind. I think I'm gonna lose it.
Is there is a light bulb between my ears. Could it be cause I had an idea?
It haunts me in my sleep, and it comes back when I'm awake.
I think I'm gonna lose my mind. I think I'm gonna lose it.
I've got a bad taste in my mouth, a taste that I just can't get out.
I've got a bad feeling in my bones. Could it be cause I went it alone?
I think I'm gonna lose my mind. I think I'm gonna lose it.

I have always appreciated Christian bands that strip the candy coated sugary goop off of Contemporary Christian Music. I am all for praise music, however when evangelical artists act as if they are on a sugar high, and the world is crashing, it can come across as superficial and even dishonest. How about some reality, heart-break, pain, and weeping? If all is going groovy for me in my little world, but the mass of humanity is lost, should this not inform our sensibilities? And, we need to doubly make sure that our projection of beaming optimism is not a charade of fiction, while our own souls break. Cheerleaders for Christ. Some of the saddest kids I have known in schools are cheerleaders. Their sunniness on stage can be a cloak for deep and clouded pain when the game is over.     

This song from Starflyer 59 "Think I Am Going to Lose My Mind" strikes me like lightening. It is haunting and even holy, because anything that diminishes faith in myself--my cognitive capacity--is a gift. We need to be humble in our admission that what God is doing in our world is beyond our comprehension sometimes. John the Baptist said that he was to decrease and Christ was to increase in their respective ministries. He lost his head but his soul was saved. May we utter that decrease/increase. Less of me, more of Christ. Truly a changing of the guard.    

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